The Benefits of Forming Habits for Strong Relationships Abroad
By Carl Davies
September 12, 2022
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When moving abroad, most people go through what is called the ‘honeymoon phase’. They are excited about their new surroundings and eager to explore their new country.
Many start off with lots of positive energy, hoping to have a great experience and create beautiful, lasting memories.
For some people, they have long lists of all the things they want to see and do during their stay in their new country, and for others their focus is on their financial, career or professional aspirations.
But what about the relationship with their partner?
Many clients that I help face the struggle of wanting to spend more time with their partners and families, but the reality is that in their new roles at work, and with other new commitments, they are often prevented from doing so.
As a result, the positive energy they had when they arrived in their new country begins to fade as new stresses are added to their family relationships.
When coaching people on changing some aspects of their lives, I focus on the habits they currently have, and the new habits they may need to successfully create the lifestyle change they desire.
A habit is something that we do unconsciously, usually something small that is done regularly which then has a bigger impact over time.
Think of your morning routine. What do you do automatically and without thinking? Do you immediately jump onto social media? Do you brush your teeth? Do you make a cup of coffee?
When you have a habit of doing something, not much effort is required, right?
One of the reasons why New Year’s goals fail is because a habit wasn’t created to help achieve those goals.
The same principle can be used for relationships. Rather than being goal-oriented, focus on the habit, something small that can be done consistently over time and will have a positive impact on the relationship overall.
Have a relationship ritual with your partner that you do over and over again, and keep it going even if you move to another country.
You could try creating a habit of recognising and appreciating the qualities or actions of your partner, for example, one person could start a conversation with; “What I like about you is…”, “What I enjoy about you is…”, “I love how you…”, etc. Starting conversations in this way increases positive feelings and strengthens the bond that already exists between you and your partner.
On the contrary, continuously bringing up the other person’s faults and what you don’t like ultimately damages the relationship.
“Focus on creating a lasting ritual of appreciation for a healthier and happier relationship.”
And when thinking of relationship habits, focus on what will really make you and your partner truly happy and fulfilled rather than how society defines it.
What relationship habits do you want to have?
I invite you to book a free consultation with me so that together we can explore new ways to form positive habits in your relationships.
Carl Davies is a Personal Therapist & Coach who helps his clients work through life's challenges; whether they are relocating, feeling lost, are struggling with a relationship, or want a better understanding of themselves so that they can grow into the person they want to be.
He believes that everyone has the ability to find their way with the right guidance, and uses various therapeutic techniques that are bespoke for each client and their unique situation.